Sex positivity is an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable. It sets guidelines for self-exploration and community-bonding with the goal to get people to learn more about themselves and become comfortable with their own sexuality; it's also about being open and accepting of other people's life choices. It allows for and in fact celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationships structures.
There's a misconception that being sex-positive means pushing everyone to have sex all the time, and there's nothing further from reality! Being open-minded about sexuality means sex-positive folk don’t judge or shame others for their sexual preferences—including whether or not they have sex at all. However, they do encourage others to embrace their preferences and explore them in healthy ways, often finding professionals to guide their journeys.
Sex-positivity rejects the idea that there are correct or incorrect ways to engage in consenting sex. Sex-positive people view humans as autonomous sexual beings, who should be able to make their own choices about their bodies and desires without shame or guilt from society.
People should feel free to enjoy any type of sex they want without being judged by others. Sex-positivity also means not judging other people’s kinks: everyone has different fantasies and reasons to explore them. There's a number of preferences when it comes to sex, BDSM (bondage/discipline), dominance/submission, sadism/masochism (which includes spanking), erotic humiliation, swinging, etcetera - these all belong to the realm of “alternative lifestyles” where anything can go as long as all partners readily consent!
Make no mistake about this though: it’s great to not feel shame about your body or desires, but engaging in your kinks in a public space, openly (such as donning a full latex suit and walking your sub on all fours through a public park with a collar, for example) is not what I’d consider a consensual activity. Your kinks should be between consenting adults, and passerby in public do not consent to witnessing that kind of stuff. So make sure you explore these things in safe spaces where all parties have consented to witnessing and participating!
Sex positivity is about being comfortable with your own sexuality, whatever that may be. It's about being open-minded about other people's sexuality, too—what they do in their bedrooms and what they don't do.
Focus on accepting people as individuals instead of labeling them as “good” or “bad” based on how they express themselves sexually. Sex positive people work to feel pride in their bodies, understand the importance of consent and safe sex practices, and actively work to change society's negative attitudes toward those who identify differently from the mainstream.
Sex-positivity is about accepting that people are different and have different sexual preferences. It's OK to want sex or to not want sex, it's OK if you're queer or monogamous or polyamorous or just asexual, and it's even more than OK if you're into kink because we all deserve to be happy in our own skin while being able to express ourselves freely.
At its core, sex positivity is about the freedom to be yourself in your own sexual life. It’s about taking control over your own body and exploring all the ways that you can enjoy it, without judgment from others or yourself. And when we have more open attitudes about sexuality, we can all benefit from it—especially women!
